


Denial

by Tria101



Series: the Rulers of Subcon [1]
Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Death, Gen, Grief, Self-Harm, albeit in a "research" sort of way, both passively mentioned and also, more tags will be added as requested/deemed necessary, not really a spoiler it's the first chapter, you do kinda watch the prince die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tria101/pseuds/Tria101
Summary: The shackles, the cold...everything aches. But his princess -- his queen -- has to come back for him...right? She wouldn't simply leave him to die...would she...? He'll get out soon. He'll be free soon. And then, everything can go back to the way it's supposed to be...
Relationships: The Prince & Queen Vanessa (A Hat in Time)
Series: the Rulers of Subcon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754167
Comments: 9
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Now, y'all might be wondering. "Hey, why the heck is there two sections that are basically the same thing in this?" And that's an excellent question!  
> I'm not sure if it'll be answered in this fic or not, seeing as I'm primarily writing by the seat of my pants, but we shall see!  
> Hopefully it won't break up the flow too much if I try.
> 
> ...ah, and,  
> These two bits were actually written at separate times, both from each other and the main story that follows them. So there might be minor inconsistencies, or a change in certain details. I'm trying to smooth things over and did, at the very least, ever so slightly rewrite bits of these two drabbles to better suit the changes I've come up with since I wrote them. But I'm not going to be very surprised if I missed something particularly glaring either...  
> Though, for these two, there's a very good reason why they're not a 1:1 match in thoughts, so please keep that in mind!
> 
> Thanks in advance for your patience with me!

"My love...?" Lumiose stepped into Vanessa's room, not knowing what to expect. He thought he'd find her in the kitchen -- she usually wound up baking when she was happy -- but, instead, he had to look all over the manor, with the servants avoiding him as much as possible.  
And here she was, huddled in the corner of her room. Judging from the posture and her sounds, she was sobbing...  
  
 _Did something happen while I was gone?_  
...No, that didn't seem right...  
  
"Vanessa...?"  
  
If something had happened, Vanessa would be throwing herself into his arms without hesitation. It was rare that she explained what upset her so much, though he had come to accept "an issue with mother" as a normal reason.  
  
 _Maybe she's still mourning...?  
 **...I wouldn't be.**_  
  
He tried to chase that traitorous thought away as Vanessa straightened up, getting to her feet. The former queen seemed distant, sure, but not worth... _not_ mourning!  
She just...upset Vanessa rather often.  
 _Isn't that just what parents do?_  
  
"Guards..."  
  
Hearing his beloved's voice snapped him from his thoughts. And the presence of the guards suddenly registered in his mind.  
He had never needed to be aware of them before...  
 _They were never in her room before._  
  
" **Take him** **away.** "  
  
"Wh-what...!?"  
The guards' arms wrapped around him in a vice grip. He was easily lifted off the ground as he tried in vain to reach out to his beloved.  
" _Vanessa...!!_ "  
  
" **Lock him in the cellar.** "  
  
Lumiose tried to struggle against the guards, but it was no use. He was dragged down the stairs, down the hall, down...  
...  
  
 _click!_  
  
The shackles locked shut, and he was allowed to drop none-too-gently. A surge of pain went through his shoulders, though it was nothing too bad yet...  
His feet didn't touch the ground.  
  
He idly wiggled his feet, trying to see if he could stretch further down or just prop himself up on the wall if he was lucky, while he contemplated his situation.  
  
Okay, so Vanessa was upset with _him_. Not unusual. Aaaand...she wasn't telling him what he did wrong. Not yet, at least. Perfectly normal!  
  
...but...every other time such a thing happened, she'd try to give him the silent treatment, or otherwise they'd have a full-blown argument. He'd always have to play his least favorite game with her -- the "What did I do this time" game, where he'd have to think of what he had done recently and which thing could upset her.  
She always insisted that if he didn't know, _she_ certainly didn't have to tell him. If he tried to apologize in general, it wouldn't take, and apologizing for the _wrong_ offense would upset her further.  
  
Going about trying to convince her that _communication_ would benefit them both was a difficult thing. Vanessa didn't like being wrong. She didn't like anything that could _imply_ she was wrong.  
Introducing new habits or solutions was a delicate thing. If he didn't go about it the right away, they'd have yet another fight...  
  
...Not that it mattered much right now.  
  
She had never had him locked up before. And he had been at law school until a little while ago. He knew she hated the fact that he wanted to go, but he was relatively certain he had convinced her to be alright with it.  
She had _seemed_ perfectly fine in her letters.  
  
 _Maybe she's just dreading me going back...?_  
His shoulders were starting to ache.  
 _But I can't give up now, it's only a little longer...  
We'll have our entire lives together after I finish...  
_  
The floorboards outside the door creaked. His head immediately snapped towards it.  
"Vanessa...?"  
  
No response.  
  
"Vanessa, is that you?  
Please let me down now!" He begged, shivering as the room grew colder. "We can talk this out!"  
  
Another creak...  
If he listened hard enough, he could catch that the footsteps were going away, towards the front of the manor...  
  
 _...It'll be fine._ He told himself. _She'll be back._  
 _Maybe she couldn't hear me?_ He hadn't exactly tried shouting from the cellar before...  
  
...Come to think of it, he had never noticed how...dark and gross the cellar was before.  
 _My shoulders hurt..._  
It really needed a good cleaning. He'd have to do something about that, once he was down.  
Vanessa didn't care much for how clean certain rooms were, since she was never in them. It'd be easy.  
 _It's so cold..._  
  
The chains were really digging into him. _Is this what criminals feel like?_ He'd have to do a lot of hard thinking as the king, make some changes...  
 _...If Vanessa will let me._  
  
He heard muffled sounds from outside, but he couldn't see anything from where he was. And he couldn't be entirely sure they weren't just imagination.  
 _Sounds kind of like someone walking in snow..._  
...Yeah, it _had_ to be his imagination. Subcon Forest _never_ saw snow, no matter how far into Monsoon season it got. It was too warm for such a thing!  
Something like that couldn't be...  
 ** _Vanessa could do that._**  
  
 _But why would she?_  
  
Unable to do much else, he tried to at least warm himself up. His magic was...decent at that. He could probably last a while if he had to.  
But he _really_ didn't want to try.  
  
The creaking came back, and he shouted as loud as he could.  
Nothing changed.  
  
As it dawned on him that Vanessa could have planning to... _not_ let him out of his bindings, panic set in.  
The pain in his shoulders, the throbbing headache, the empty pit in his stomach, the cold all around him...it suddenly didn't bother him. For that moment, how tired he was didn't register.  
He _thrashed_ around as hard as he could, trying desperately to break the chains. They merely dug harder into his skin. The one around his neck was making it near impossible to breathe.  
He didn't stop. Even as his bones popped and cracked, even as his arms started to twist in ways that they _shouldn't_...  
  
The chains rattled and banged. The stone scratched up his back. He **_screamed_** , as loud as he could, then coughed until blood dripped from his mouth. But he didn't care. He couldn't feel it.  
  
 ** _Why is she ignoring me!?  
What have I done to deserve this!?_**  
  
...Yet, that frenzy didn't last forever.  
  
He didn't know how long he had gone for. Just that when he stopped, allowing himself to fall completely lax, he hurt worse than ever. He hung lower on the wall, which _hurt_.  
It hurt _so much_.  
Something was really wrong...  
  
He closed his eyes, conceding to the sleep his body so desperately craved. _I need sleep...  
This'll all be over when I wake up._  
  
Lumiose could just imagine it now. Waking up in Vanessa's arms. She'd kiss him all over, tell him how sorry she was for scaring him like that, but he just made her _so upset_ sometimes...  
He was looking forward to it. ~~He wanted to upset her.~~ To the attention, to hearing another person's voice. ~~To seeing her cry.~~  
To having his aching body held gently against someone else's...  
  
...  
He...wasn't sure why he woke up. He felt even worse than before. His arms seemed to have set in their new positions; he couldn't move them, couldn't feel anything in them...  
  
And all around him was _ice_.  
 _I guess that's why..._  
It was only up to his ankles at most, but that was more than enough.  
 _If this keeps up, I'll be gone by the time Vanessa comes for me..._  
  
The concentration made his head hurt more. He really didn't care.  
With effort, he managed to melt the ice, heating up his own cold body in the process. It _hurt_ to do so _you're unfreezing too fast, you're going to make it worse_ but what was more pain on the rest of his suffering?  
 ** _You're going to die here anyway._**  
  
 _plip_  
  
The blood on his mouth had dried. It took him a while to notice, since he couldn't touch it, but he could _feel_ it.  
The sensation of something sticky having dried on his skin...  
  
 _plip  
_  
The water drained out of the cellar much faster than he expected. Or was it just...that he had been here too long...?  
  
 _plip_  
  
He hissed, glaring up at the pipe. The rapid heat had likely been the cause of the damage...  
 ** _But it's Vanessa's fault for freezing everything to begin with.  
_** _  
plip_  
  
The creaks came back. He was going to ignore it this time, too tired to fight again...  
Then the doorknob moved, the door squeaking...  
  
"-- _Va_ ness _a_!!" His voice came out hoarse. It took too much effort to make it loud.  
But it was loud enough.  
  
Enough that the door was quickly shut tight once more.  
  
Lumiose fell silent.  
  
 _plip_  
  
He didn't know what he felt. Anger? Sadness?  
...Mostly numb, he supposed. His body was numb, and he was numb, and...  
  
 _plip_  
  
...He couldn't...stop himself from crying...  
 _She's avoiding me.  
Why?  
 **What did I do wrong?**  
_  
 _There's nothing I could have done to deserve this._  
  
...  
...Had...  
...had he fallen asleep again...? He didn't really remember anything. Just closing his eyes, and opening them, and it was _cold_ again.  
  
He had ice under his feet, finally letting his weight rest somewhere other than on his shoulders. His tears had frozen to his face. There were specks of ice around his lips, like his mouth had been washed and what was left froze.  
That stupid pipe wasn't making noise anymore...  
  
 _Vanessa was here._  
  
Something in him... _snapped_.  
  
With what little strength he had left, he let loose with his flames, engulfing everything around him. The temperature change should have been a death sentence for anyone. But he wasn't going to just... _let_ himself die -- not here, not _now_!  
  
His body dropped harshly. But he barely felt it.  
  
" ** _VANESSAAAAAAAA!!_** " He shrieked in a voice that wasn't his own. " ** _I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN PITY, YOU BITCH!!  
LET ME DOWN!!  
IF YOU CARED ABOUT ME, YOU'D GET ME OUT OF HERE!!_**"  
  
When he got no response, he snarled, spitefully digging his fangs into his bottom lip. It was _so cold_. Colder than he had felt ever before.  
He was ~~finally~~ out of magic...  
  
" ** _VANESSA!! GET DOWN HERE!! GET DOWN HERE AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE!!  
TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG!! TELL ME WHY I SHOULD STILL LOVE YOU!!_**"  
  
Ahh, tired...so tired...  
He needed...more sleep...  
  
" ** _T̶E̕L̸̵L ͢M̴E̕͟!͘!͞_** "  
  
That...thing...continued to howl. But he was tired.  
It'd be okay...if he rested a little while...  
  
He awoke again, for some reason, yet nothing had really changed. Even the water hadn't drained. He noted with annoyance that the nearby grate had been frozen shut.  
 ** _Just like her to do something so petty._**  
He wanted to do something petty back, but he still felt exhausted...and empty...  
His tears had frozen to his face again, but the water below hadn't.  
That _had_ to have been intentional.  
  
The thought of upsetting Vanessa with his last outburst made him grin. ~~But who had done that anyway?~~  
  
His body had ~~died~~ changed, as far as he could tell, but he dismissed it. ~~Purple was a nice color on him.~~ His eyes were just playing tricks on him.  
  
Vanessa didn't come around anymore. He heard her walk past, but she never stopped at the door.  
 ** _I don't want to see her anyway._**  
  
...even so...  
  
When would enough be enough...?  
When was she going to finally let him down...  
  


* * *

  
Lumiose was hurting. His arms hurt, his shoulders hurt, it was hard to breathe past the shackle around his neck...  
His feet didn't touch the ground at all. It forced his shoulders to bear his entire weight on them, no matter what he tried to do to fix it...  
He was so cold...  
  
What had he done wrong? He had theories, but Vanessa wouldn't actually tell him. And he couldn't apologize for his non-crime if she didn't come down to see him...  
What was she doing...? It had been near silent in the manor for far too long...  
  
Sometimes, the creaking would stop in front of the cellar door, and he'd dare to feel hopeful. But no one ever came in, not while he was awake anyway.  
  
It was...lonely.  
  
It took him a while to notice that. Pain and hunger ate at him first. Distracted him at first. But then he got used to them, got used to the exhaustion, the feeling that he wanted to eat and yet would puke if he put food in his mouth.  
  
What he didn't get used to was the strong desire to be hugged. To be held.  
His mind drifted off to thoughts of Vanessa, her thin, delicate arms, her icy cold kisses. It all seemed so... _enticing_ , though he didn't want it to be.  
He was _cold_. _Dying_.  
He wanted to be more angry, but he couldn't summon the energy. Instead, he was just...sad...  
  
Sad...and lonely...  
Craving to be touched, kissed, cooed at...  
He wanted to wrap his arms around Vanessa, tightly, and never let go. He wanted to hear her pained gasps, her bones crack. He wanted that feeling of having her, knowing she was there, knowing she was _his_.  
And he wanted to hear what he _knew_ she'd say, despite the pain, despite however much he hurt her--  
 _"I love you, my prince..._ _♡"_


	2. Chapter 2

How long...had it been? He didn't know. He hadn't slept in so long...  
He felt so tired, and cold...but he couldn't sleep anymore. The aches and pains he felt had numbed over. He was so used to the hunger gnawing at him that it felt almost comforting in a strange way.  
  
 ** _I'm alive._** He told himself. **_I'm still alive._**  
  
 _Vanessa isn't coming down again...  
  
_ That thought was bitter. But realistic.  
If she was ever going to see - let alone free - him, she would have done so already. Her footsteps passed by the cellar door often, but they never paused at it like they used to. She wasn't even _considering_ it.  
  
 _I need to get out of here!_  
  
But his fire had already burned out long ago. How was he meant to even muster the energy to...  
"...ah?" His voice dripped out of him as he realized how... _loose_ the chains around him felt. How long had they been like that...?  
Maybe, if he could just...  
  
He wriggled around, the chains jingling as he moved. But even though he felt he could slip away from them, he was still stuck to something...  
 _Unacceptable!_  
He shifted, drooling... _something_ from his mouth. Something warm. But his senses were dulled, and he couldn't really see his own face without a mirror.  
  
Then, with a final burst of energy, he **_tore_** himself from the wall. ~~At least, he was mildly certain it was the wall...?~~  
To his surprise, he didn't flop to the ground, though he was surely too exhausted to stand. Too exhausted to _walk_...  
His legs were a bit more trapped than the rest of him. He intentionally threw himself to the icy cold, wet floor below, digging his claws in and dragging his body forward. With effort, he managed to get completely free.  
His disobedient tongue dripped out of his mouth as he tried to breathe. If he could just catch his breath, maybe he could get that extra bit of strength he needed...  
  
...but no matter how long he waited, nothing seemed to change. Air flowed through him, he felt it, but all it did was create a sensation that nearly made him vomit.  
  
He lowered himself further into the water. Logically, he knew he shouldn't. It was cold, and wet, and only the gods knew what sort of disgusting stuff had gotten into it. Yet, he found himself wholly unable to care.  
  
It wound up being Vanessa's footsteps that got him moving again. The sound of her coming too close to the cellar.  
His legs wouldn't obey him, so he dragged himself out by the claws. Up the opposing stairs, and out of the opposing doors.  
  
It was _bright_. The snow and wind crashed against him, harmlessly, but he couldn't ignore it. Cold rippled through his body, and it retaliated by drooling more warmth for him. Ice collected in his ~~fur~~ hair ~~and on his tail~~.  
The snow was deep. He kept pulling himself forward, getting a face full of water as it melted. But it got less and less so as he continued...  
  
When he reached the gate, still shut tight, he straightened up, resting back on his coils.  
What...was he supposed to do...? He didn't have a key, nor could he ask Vanessa for help...  
  
 ** _Vanessa._**  
  
The thought of her made him shiver, more than the cold did.  
What had he done wrong...? He still didn't understand...  
...though, he wasn't entirely sure he cared anymore either...  
  
 _Maybe she was just...always like this..._  
He rested a claw on the gate, closing his eyes as he thought it over.  
  
So many times, she had yelled and screamed at him. She had tried to dictate what he could and couldn't do, who he could see. She had ruined his hair in his sleep, taken away his favorite food, and...  
...  
And...she had locked him in the cellar to **die**...  
What more could he possibly add to _that_...?  
  
 _There has to be a reason._  
  
He shook his head, opening his eyes again. He didn't want to think like that right now -- or ever again, if he could help it.  
Instead, he put a little more weight on the gate, getting an ear-piercing _squeeaaaak!_ from the weakened hinges...  
  
 _Can I break this?  
  
_ He gripped the bars tight with his claws, pulling back as hard as he could. In an instant, he was in the air, the gate breaking off with a deafening **_SCREECH_ **of metal. He allowed the useless weight to drop to the snow, immediately making his way out, and towards the village.  
There was no way that Vanessa _hadn't_ heard that.  
There was just _no way_...!  
  
...  
  
...but...  
Even so...  
Even if she really did hear him making so much noise...  
Just like with the cellar, she never came to see him. Perhaps she had gone out to the gate and simply no further, but he didn't hear or see her from the village.  
  
The poor...ruined village...  
  
The Subcon Kingdom hadn't been made for snowstorms. For an icy winter. It was prepared for _monsoons_ \-- a vastly different kind of weather.  
Plenty of buildings had collapsed. The trees had died...  
The unmoving bodies of the residents were scattered here and there. Bright blood stained the snow...  
 ** _Is this my fault?_** An instinctive thought. One he despised.  
  
He wrapped his arms around himself, digging his claws into his body. More warmth was inside, and oozed out around his fingers.  
He didn't _want_ to blame himself anymore. Being angry at _him_ was one thing, but Vanessa wouldn't get him to feel guilty for all of _this!_  
This destruction was **her** fault -- all her fault -- it was something she should answer for, royalty or not!  
  
 _...But what can I do?  
What...can I possibly do to her...?_  
  
He moved past the gruesome sight, dimly aware of the spirits around the forest, hiding in the trees. He could sense more, in the swamp, _inside_ the trees...but none would approach. And he wouldn't force them to either.  
  
His initial instinct was to check out his old home, the one he had tried to get near the village after determining that going back to his kingdom wasn't...a good idea. But a sick feeling in his stomach told him he couldn't handle that, so he kept going.  
Past the village, and to the tower that he used to try conducting more...volatile research, safely away from anything he could really hurt. That seemed about right for the moment.  
  
It...was hanging in there. But not by much. A sizable hole had been made into the base of the tower, enough that he could probably still slip in, even if he was a few feet taller. A few loose stones had already fallen to the ground...  
 _Who knows how much longer the rest of it will last?_  
  
Regardless, he went inside, not feeling an ounce of fear. Just...the same numb confusion, grief, and horror...  
The same emotions he felt almost too tired to feel anymore...  
  
Whatever else happened, this was a good place to start figuring out what had happened to him. Why he was like... _this_.  
  
After all...he _had_ survived...hadn't he...?  
  



	3. Chapter 3

There were many things that could reflect him in his lab. The glass tubes, the beakers, the water...  
Spikes of ice had grown all around the inside of the building. The fact that Vanessa's presence had even violated his personal lab - the thing she knew _nothing_ about - made him feel sick all over again. She had only gotten this far because she had gone after _everything_.  
Even in his growing anger, he couldn't help shuddering away any time his eye caught his reflection. He could only fathom how terrible he looked -- he didn't want to _see_ it! ~~The glowing eyes, the torn mouth, on his now shadowy face...~~  
  
Hunger still gnawed at his stomach. He could still feel the tightness of the shackles around his wrists and neck. A terrible thought ran through his mind; **_What if this is a dream? What if I'm still trapped down there?_** And he couldn't be certain that thought was _wrong_.  
 _But surely I'd dream of something nicer than this...?_  
A place warm, full of food, the only bit of cold being Vanessa's hands and her affectionate kisses...  
  
As if spurred by the thought of **_her_** , her icy love and affection, his body lurched, his tongue lolling further out of his mouth. Hot, amber bubbles dripped onto the ground, onto his desk, but they didn't help. The small warmth they provided refused to penetrate his skin, like the vaguest memory of heat rather than a source of it.  
But steam rose from the little blobs, telling him that there _was_ more to it, he just-...  
...couldn't feel it...at all...  
  
He rubbed his face, trying to get his mind away from it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't figure out _why_ he was like this...  
But that was why he _had_ to do tests! That was why he was here...  
...part of the reason anyway...  
  
When he could finally force himself to stop drooling, he wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and got back to work.  
  
His claws rolled over the different tools at his disposal. He pulled a few books closer to himself, and flipped through them. Was there any precedent for something like this...?  
Any sort of...magical illness he could have contracted, from being in the cold too long?  
 _...ugh, I think Vanessa still has most of THOSE textbooks._ Irritated at his lack of findings, he snapped the books shut. So much for the _easy_ way.  
If he had to be his own newest project, then _so be it_.  
  
Finally, he snatched up a scalpel as he tossed the books aside. While he wasn't...confident in the idea of "bad blood", he had no other leads. No other _ideas_.  
He rested his right arm onto his desk, taking a deep breath as he pressed the blade against his forearm. He'd have to be careful not to cut too deep or ~~he might run out of excuses~~ he'd be in big trouble, lacking any way to close the wound...  
He sank his fangs into his bottom lip, bracing himself...then -- he quickly slashed open his arm, splattering more of that amber ooze across the room.  
  
Immediately, he regretted assuming he had blood. That what he was drooling out wasn't a _sign_.  
  
The splatters melted into his desk, the books, some glass...  
...the scalpel.  
It took him a moment to notice that, but, indeed, the tool had begun to melt and drip, only to just as quickly re-solidify thanks to the cold Vanessa had wrought, cracking quite harshly in the process.  
  
Okay.  
Bad idea.  
  
Acting quickly, he saved the books, at the very least, wiping off the goo before it could actually set fire to them. His glowing wound closed all too quickly, much to his surprise. And for a brief, horrible moment, he had to consider it...  
He looked to the intact glass, and he had to consider it...  
  
 ** _Did I really...not get out of there...?_**  
  
He held his claws up to his face, sinking them into his flesh. More of that liquid dribbled out of him, pain ran under his face, and he wasn't sure he cared.  
His stomach rolled inside him, feeling even more like an empty pit. Stress, hunger, the urge to cry and scream and have a Vanessa-style tantrum of his own, all built up, all coiled together...  
  
...and all he could do was sink to the ground and sob.  
  
 _This can't be happening...  
This can't be what happened...  
This wasn't how it was supposed to go..._  
  
His glowing eyes, his mouth...  
His hair had turned into a mane, and his legs had morphed into a tail. He couldn't deny these things anymore.  
But he didn't want to accept them either. He didn't _want_ this to be his fate -- he should have been at the Academy by now! He should have been finishing his studies, getting ready to come home, just in time for the beginning of Solstice, just in time to be married to--!  
  
The goo started forcing its way out of his mouth.  
Desperate not to ruin anything else in the lab, he pushed his head through the hole in the glass, and allowed himself to continue his breakdown there; the amber ooze filling the area he had previously kept a plant. A plant that had, it seemed, died, thanks to the deep freeze...  
  
What...was he meant to do with this sort of information...?  
Was it even accurate?  
He had thought about ghosts before, sure, but the kinds of ghosts that Subcon usually saw, the 'Dwellers'...  
  
...was _he_ a Dweller...? A rather odd one if he had to say so...  
 _And if I'm dead, why do I still feel like this...?_  
Why was he still hungry? And cold? So cold... _so cold..._  
  
He didn't _have_ any books regarding Dwellers. Not in his lab, anyway.  
There was one in his home, he was pretty sure...but that required going back _outside_. Back to where he could see all of the ruin his foolishness had caused. All the death...  
Could he really stand that right now?  
Did he have a choice in the matter?  
  
As his body finally seemed to calm back down, the ooze having turned into some sort of impromptu light source in the process, he pulled back, plopping against the wall behind him.  
Could he stay here...? Even if he didn't want to leave, this tower wouldn't stay up for much longer...especially with the extra damage he had caused, some stones now looking a bit melted, even if they had cooled back down already.  
Yes, if he was really and truly already...dead...then the risks of having his home collapse on top of him were null. But that didn't mean that was something he WANTED to experience...!  
  
Grunting in frustration, he threw himself to the ground. He curled around and around himself, before he plopped his arms down in the middle of his coils, and rested his head right on top. He wasn't getting anywhere, arguing with himself...  
All he could decide on, doubtlessly, was _sleep_.  
He would sleep, he would rest, and when he woke up...  
...either all of this would have been a dream...or, at the very least...he would feel like doing _something_ , right...?  
Right...  
  
...right...  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone else noticed my chapters feel a bit short? They always seem so much longer when I'm writing them...  
> Oh well.

"Hey there, sleepyhead~" Vanessa giggled, smiling down at him. Her red eyes sparkled with the same love and affection she always had when she looked at him. "Having a nice nap?"  
  
Lumiose startled, quickly sitting up. "My princess...!" He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest. She seemed startled, giving a small squeak at the action, but relaxed into him, gently resting her head against him. Her hands found their place around his waist. She was _so happy_ to be held. He could see it. He could _feel_ it.  
Her body was as cold as ever. But it felt nice against his own aching muscles.  
"N-no, I...I didn't..." He replied softly. His shoulders were screaming at him. The pains he had felt before hadn't left him. "I had a horrible nightmare..."  
  
She shifted, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes. Concern was written all over her face.  
Her face, which always appeared immaculate yet exhausted. Like there was something there that the makeup she wore couldn't quite cover up. It had always bothered him, but, for some reason, it was especially noticeable today.  
  
Though she hadn't asked, he felt she wanted to hear it. As such, he continued to speak...  
"I dreamt...th-that you were angry with me. So--so angry that you had me locked into the cellar, and left me to die." He choked a bit as he spoke. Just _thinking_ about it caused his heart to ache. "And you never told me _why_...  
You only visited me when I was asleep, so I never got to see you..." Tears welled up in his eyes. _Why?_ He hated himself. He hated the fact that he felt this way. _Why am I getting so stressed out?_ "I was...I was so scared...and _lonely_...  
Everything hurt so much and I-... _I_..." His voice cracked. He reached a hand up to try wiping the tears away. But no matter how much he tried, they continued rolling down his face, as if his efforts were worthless...  
  
 ** _Just like they had been with her._**  
  
Vanessa gently shushed him, kissing his cheek. Her hands slid up to massage his pained shoulders.  
Yet it did nothing. He felt no difference. He only felt _colder_.  
"Shh, it's okay...you're okay..." She murmured soft, soothing words. Words that didn't reach his ears, not for even a small, merciful moment.  
  
"I-I got out, after I died...but everything - everyone...was dead...and the buildings had collapsed...everything was in ruins..." Another wave of grief and fear hit him, and he quickly devolved into audible sobs.  
It was hard to speak.  
It felt like his own crying would never end...  
"I didn't...I didn't know what to do..." The words forced themselves from his mouth. "I don't know what to do...none of this was supposed to happen..."  
  
She kissed his lips. He could tell all too easily she was trying to quiet him, as kindly as she could.  
He immediately broke away from the gesture, hugging her head into the nape of his neck instead. Vanessa made a displeased noise, yet didn't do anything to fight it. _How unusual for her these days._  
When they had just started out, she was fine with being like this. Letting him do or say things that upset her without much of a complaint. But then she seemed to have gained some confidence...or...perhaps, had lost what little she had...  
  
He missed these times, though. When she was so gentle, so patient. She thought nothing of yelling at him, of accusing him of things. Getting into his personal space and messing with his hair or clothes without permission.  
All she cared about was being with him. All she wanted was to listen to him ramble, then be heard in return.  
Lumiose held her against him, making a silent plea. _Just let me talk.  
Just let me enjoy this for a while longer..._  
He knew what she was going to say, when he allowed it. And right now, he really didn't want to hear those words.  
  
"What...am I supposed to do, Nessa?" He asked. His gaze didn't go to her, but out towards the forest. He recognized this area; the little clearing, deep in the woods that they enjoyed hanging out in, since Vanessa wasn't really allowed in the village without her mother...  
She loved coming here. And he loved it too.  
A place away from her mother, or his father, the servants, the villagers...  
He'd come out here with her, and read her a book while she laid on his lap, and, for those brief moments, everything felt right with the world...  
"I was supposed to be a lawyer. Become king. Be with you...  
Now I've got nothing left. I can't return to Father, I can't finish my schooling, I can't rule over ruins, over _corpses_..."  
  
This time, she held a finger up to his mouth. And he knew, in an instant, he wasn't getting away with prolonging the inevitable.  
When he quieted, she gave him a little smile. The same mischievous little smile she always gave him when she was about to be a harmless troublemaker. "Who says you can't~?" She giggled. "You can rule over anything as long as you're unopposed~!"  
  
He couldn't help a small snort. His heart felt a little lighter.  
Deep down, some part of him... ** _really hated it._**  
"I suppose that's true, you lil tyrant~"  
  
"Heehee!" She showed off an even more playful grin.  
And then it shrank as she rested her head against his chest again.  
"...you already know you can't return to me, huh...?" In that instant, he went silent, merely listening to her. "...I'm glad...  
Sometimes, you can be a real stubborn beast, my prince...You know that, right?" She shifted, rubbing her cheek against him; another gesture she often did. He had found it somewhat odd at first, having never had anyone do that to him before, but it had grown to be rather adorable over the time they spent together.  
"It might be scary...but you can't hide here. Not forever. I don't think you'll want to see my face or hear my voice for much longer either."  
  
"Wh-what do you..."  
  
She pulled away, looking up at him with sad, yet understanding eyes. It was an odd look on her face - one she had never really worn. Because she never really understood anything, no matter how hard she tried.  
The Vanessa he knew could be sweet, could be kind, but she was also incredibly naive. Her look of frustrated confusion whenever she became lost was also...something he had loved.  
This...was nothing like the real her. It was merely something she _could_ have been, perhaps, if things hadn't gone so sour...  
"You haven't noticed...?" She gently poked his chest with her finger. "You've been growling at me this whole time...  
I don't think you're very happy with me, even here."  
  
He startled as he finally heard his own voice. True to her words, there was a growl, an almost snarl, rumbling deep in his throat. He had started doing it the first moment she had touched him, and it hadn't stopped, even as he cried.  
Even now, he couldn't stop. The anger, the desire to **_hurt_** her for all that she did -- for all that the real her probably failed to regret. It burned up his insides.  
 _And he hated that too.  
  
_ However...Vanessa still didn't pull away.  
"This is a dream." She stated softly. "You know that, don't you?"  
  
"I..." He rubbed his neck. What was he meant to do? What was he meant to say?  
If this was all just a dream...  
...if he was just sleeping again...  
...did it really matter...?  
  
Fearlessly, she gave him another soft kiss. Her face was now beginning to resemble the last sight of her that he remembered - the dark circles under her eyes, the hollowed cheeks...  
The sight that he had only a split second to be concerned about, before he never saw her again...  
"I miss you too, Lumi. You know I always will." She told him. "But you can't be here. The me you want doesn't exist anymore -- you know that too. You're a smart boy." Though she was smiling again, she looked like she was going to cry.  
He had to admit...he felt much the same way.  
  
"It'll hurt a lot when you wake up again. You'll hurt, and you'll be lost, and confused. You won't know what to do any more than you do now.  
But it'll be okay.  
You're free. You escaped.  
You don't need to tie yourself to me anymore.  
 _You're free!_ "  
  
...  
Slowly...  
He opened his eyes.  
He stared at the stone around him. At the wooden table, at the melted container. Then down at his claws, his tail...  
The blizzard still raged outside. And he knew, logically, that waiting for it to subside was pointless. It wasn't a natural blizzard. It had no reason to stop if no one forced it to...  
  
Slowly, he uncoiled himself, propping his spectral body on the table. He dug into the wood without much thought, his mind consumed by the memories of the dream he had...  
For a moment, he thought about Vanessa. The idealized dream, and the reality...  
For a brief moment, he wondered if the real one would have said anything like that to him, should she be calm enough to articulate such things...  
  
And then, for a moment...  
He finally allowed himself to cry.


End file.
